The Confession

Yet another email I sent out to my coworkers this week -

(This is what I'm going to look like post-1/2 marathon training, right? Strong, sleek, black? Lithe like a jungle panther, yes? I want to be a black panther...wait, why does that sound wrong?)

All - I appreciate the early birds who completed & submitted their slides early. Aren't you fancy? This special gift of free time on Wednesday night led me to begin what will surely be a positive, life affirming commitment to myself: I started running.

OK, confession: I signed up for a half marathon that will occur in June 2011. You say, "great job, Brie!" and I humbly shake my head and say "aw shucks, it's for charity........Loudoun County wine country charity" and then I win another Circle of Excellence Award but they have to upgrade it to Circle of Amazingness based solely on my good heart and the clever zingers I exchange with the cafeteria workers on a daily basis. Example: "Hey guys, I came down here just for the halibut. Get it? Get it?" It is like Def Comedy Jams up in this joint!

OK, confession part 2: I suck at running. I suck so badly that I told my father - who has always been supportive of anything I have ever done - what I was planning on doing and he laughed so hard, my mom ran in to his office and thought he was choking.

OK, confession part 3: sometimes my dad is a huge jerk.

OK, confession part 4: I have the lung capacity of a 104 year old man that lives in a smokehouse and worked in a coal mine for 78 years. It is that bad. BUT I tell you this deep dark secret so I can use your uppity judgments to motivate me. I'll be running & screaming, "take that OFM! I'm RUNNING! I may or may not be the one that called the copier a communist fuck this morning but you don't know because when you came to look, I was gone in a puff of smoke and speed! HAHA!" but then, of course, I fall because my kids keep putting Matchbox cars on the treadmill and I'm not paying attention as I'm too busy having these running fantasies and/or imagining I'm a back up dancer for Usher.

Wish me luck.