Worth the Second Post Today

Came home from St. Joe after baking bread with Dylan's class for their Thanksgiving feast. It was so fun, he & I decided to bake another loaf just for us. We got everything together, put it in to the oven and let the smell of warm pumpkin bread fill the house. He & I went outside and my heart was so full watching him run around playing with the dogs. Like below -

I ran inside to get my camera as I wanted to capture this wonderful moment with my oldest. I grabbed my camera, took one pic and was told "memory card full" which is so weird since our card should hold 8 million photos. I start going through the card and find about 60 pictures of this -

In case you are wondering, this is Otto's penis. Paging back through the photos it was obvious that at some point during his Bucket-monitored tonsil removal recovery, Dylan had gotten ahold of my camera. And taken some photos. Of the dog's junk. I did find 3 of the inside of Dylan's mouth and 2 of just his shoe. I guess I should be grateful he was just experimenting with photography and not slinging crack rock.

Now I Lay Me Down to Burp

Ah, Sunday night. Fresh from baths. Clean, crisp and spic & span for a new week. Aren't we precious? We were also just engaging in a belching contest. Adorable, I know. Though we cannot compete with this tornado of destruction-

Someone has discovered her new favorite game which is called Don't Try To Confine Me In Your Bourgeois Bedroom Attire I Am A Free Spirit Who Now Knows How To Work A Zipper So Put That In Your Pipe And Smoke It.

This game is also known as F-You, Mama.

MOOOOOM!

Despite being 31 years young, I still have many occasions to utter the childhood mantra, "Aw, MOM!" in despair. Take today's phone call from my mother. My dad is visiting from Florida to aid us during Tonsilgate. Mom is aware of Dad's TV musts (such as: no Rock of Love and marathon after marathon of Burn Notice) and was questioning our nightly viewing line up.

Brie: Yeah, kids will be in bed by 7:30 and I think some new show are on.

Mom: Well, it's Monday so Dad will want to watch "How Two And A Half Men Bang Your Mother."

Brie: DAMMIT MOM! (the new 'aw, Mom')

Mom: Oh Brigid, it's just what I call your dad's favorite shows of "How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory and Two & A Half Men."

This got me thinking of some of my favorite 'Aw Mom' moments -

Mom: (slightly drunk and not on the Holy Spirit) Who wants some Que-tila?

Family friend: Mrs. Schmutte, it's Te-QUILA.

Mom: Shut the fuck up. I paid for it.

Brie: Aw, MOM.

Sara: <giving Mom a birthday card she made> Happy birthday, Mrs Schmutte!

Mom: Oh thanks, Sara.

Sara: I made that card.

Mom: (drunk on birthday Cosmos) No shit. Thanks for the cheap effort.

Brie: MOM!

Mom: Brendan...get up. GET UP. <kicking a very hungover and passed out Brendan>

Good God, you're as useful as a six legged dick.

Brie: High five. You finally got that shit right.

LGJ

Age: 20 months

Weight: whatever your average baby sumo wrestler weighs

Interests: chipping her teeth, pacifiers, carbohydrates & going through my purse and throwing crap all over the floor.

Dislikes: Bedtime, jeans (they are a smiiiiiidge too snug on the thighs) & the Taliban

Nicknames: LoTimes, Bitchface, Hillbilly Tooth & NOLOGANDONTTOUCHTHAT!

Thanks for the pic, Uncle Mark!

T&A, baby, T&A

Today, Dylan had a tonsillectomy & adenoidectomy or, as all the profesh peeps kept calling it, a T&A procedure (insert Beavis & Butthead-style laughter HERE).

Dylan was not a fan of being stripped down and changing in to a tiger-covered nightshirt. Nor did he like all the machines. But he DID love the red hospital socks.

His procedure was fast and uneventful and when the doc came out and said all had gone well, we were relieved. He then mentioned "those were some HUUUUUGE tonsils." Hopefully, Dylan's 3am window-rattling snores will be a thing of the past.

Heading back to Recovery, I was anxious to see my boy. I saw him crying on his bed and ran to him. He said, "Mama! Mama!" and I said, "I'm here, buddy. I have you!"

He said, "Mama, I want to go to Bob Evans!"

Healing prognosis: Stellar.

Thir-tay

Happy 30th birthday to Uncle Brendan!

We call you a superhero because you are the most loving & generous uncle who is always down for a quick wrassle and a super big hug (and because your abs are something not from nature). We hope the best godfather x 3 has a fantastic day!

Stay safe, WE LOVE YOU!

Whittle Me This...

We miss Uncle Brendan a lot. We know he is busy and working hard and sweating a lot and...wait a minute...is that a palm tree? Is he sitting on his ass?

Huh. Well it's actually a palm tree made entirely of wood. So the good 'ol USA sends the best of the best - the best infantry, the best artillery, the best EOD and apparently the best whittlers.