Despite being 31 years young, I still have many occasions to utter the childhood mantra, "Aw, MOM!" in despair. Take today's phone call from my mother. My dad is visiting from Florida to aid us during Tonsilgate. Mom is aware of Dad's TV musts (such as: no Rock of Love and marathon after marathon of Burn Notice) and was questioning our nightly viewing line up.
Brie: Yeah, kids will be in bed by 7:30 and I think some new show are on.
Mom: Well, it's Monday so Dad will want to watch "How Two And A Half Men Bang Your Mother."
Brie: DAMMIT MOM! (the new 'aw, Mom')
Mom: Oh Brigid, it's just what I call your dad's favorite shows of "How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory and Two & A Half Men."
This got me thinking of some of my favorite 'Aw Mom' moments -
Mom: (slightly drunk and not on the Holy Spirit) Who wants some Que-tila?
Family friend: Mrs. Schmutte, it's Te-QUILA.
Mom: Shut the fuck up. I paid for it.
Brie: Aw, MOM.
Sara: <giving Mom a birthday card she made> Happy birthday, Mrs Schmutte!
Mom: Oh thanks, Sara.
Sara: I made that card.
Mom: (drunk on birthday Cosmos) No shit. Thanks for the cheap effort.
Brie: MOM!
Mom: Brendan...get up. GET UP. <kicking a very hungover and passed out Brendan>
Good God, you're as useful as a six legged dick.
Brie: High five. You finally got that shit right.
2 comments:
The sad part is I think you are foreshadowing to little Logan in 25 years with you. But knowing you, I think she will have it worse, ha ha, love ya!
I have a new respect for your mother. I never knew she was so SASSY...now it all makes sense.
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