FLORIDA!

We returned yesterday from a fantastic trip to Rockledge, Florida and Meemaw & Bucket's awesome new house. Brendan, Amy and their dogs, Jake & Buddy, joined us as well as the ever-present Hoban & Lamar. A good time was had by all!

We braved the crowds at Sea World and went to see Shamu! The boys were thrilled to 1) be outside and getting sunshine and 2) attempting to lure Amy away from Uncle Brendan - Sawyer especially developed a bit of a crush....and insisted on Amy carrying him everywhere. Amy can now bench press a bulldozer.

A daily event for the boys was their long jaunt on the golf cart to go see Christmas decorations, geezers and the river. Sometimes Hoban would join.

Brendan, while thrilled to be an uncle, gets freaked out by pregnancy and anything related to it. So it's my job to sit as close as possible to him and whisper words like "placenta" in his ear. Nothing like scaring the absolute piss out of a man who can detonate a 1,000 lb. bomb.

Bucket & Meemaw treated us to an airboat ride on Christmas Eve....because nothing says "the birth of our Lord" like beer-swilling gator hunters and the smell of pelican feces.

While enjoying lunch afterwards at the same fine establishment - Sawyer decided he had been a bit jostled by the boat ride....and barfed all over the table (no lie). Mama went into Parent Mode and began cleaning him up while everyone else sat at the table, slack-jawed and useless. This resulted in Mama lashing out with profanities and, with that, the usual Schmutte Christmas Routine was accomplished.

Post-puking, Sawyer felt great and modeled his Lone Cabbage t-shirt (he was stripped in the parking lot) complete with gators and boats on the back. Mama & Dada were quite lazy on this trip. They took many naps, ate a lot of food and felt the baby girl kicking like David Beckham. She liked Florida, too.

Rockledge, Florida - the best house ever!

Check out the view!

The favorite part of the trip? FISHING!

Sawyer made friends with the bait. Bucket & Dylan caught 4 fish! We think removing Sawyer and his loudmouth from the dock finally encouraged the fishies to venture forth. Even Dada caught a fish....after breaking a fishing pole.

Thank you to Bucket & Meemaw for a great Christmas vacation!

Marriage: Day 1,460

December 4, 2008 - Happy 4 year Anniversary to us! Two, soon-to-be 3 children, 2 Schibbies, 1 mortgage, numerous blood thinner injections and a looming vasectomy and we're still here. If we can do it, anyone can.

Happy Thanksgiving, Homey!

Happy Thanksgiving from the Jenkins Family! We are currently enjoying a thuggish-ruggish holiday complete with gangsta winter hats from Target - holla! Thank you to all our wonderful friends & family for their support and love, especially towards our 2 (soon-to-be 3) children.

Mama also had to include a photo of her turkey - her first ever to be made without her own mommy! We're sure Kris/Mom/Meemaw is proud but surely shaking her head in disappointment as us sporting a foil roasting dish instead of some family heirloom which has lovingly housed many a Schmutte/Otto turkey. Well guess what? I didn't want more crap to clean....so we're just going to let the dogs lick this foil thing clean. Happy Thanksgiving!

3D Baby!

I got quite a suprise in the sonogram room today as they opted to do a 3-D sono and show me my active girl (they assured me they wouldn't be billing my insurance...let's hope I wasn't duped).

She is gorgeous and apparently very chatty in utero - she kept opening & closing her mouth. Pat and I both immediately thought she looked like Sawyer. Thankfully, she is in the 53rd percentile for weight (2 lbs, 3 oz) and all other body measurements and not growing at Sawyer's bulky Incredible Hulk-rate.

We hope you like the pictures! We have spent the whole night looking them amazed - it seems to make her arrival more real.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Brendan!

November 5 is a special day....

Happy 28th birthday to our favorite Schmutte uncle - Brendan!

Thank you for being our bestest pal, always thinking of us and sending us gifts and for passing along your giant, satellite-sized noggin.

We love you!

Superhero Halloween

We had a pretty super Halloween in Reston last Friday. Dylan and Sawyer were Batman and Robin, respectively. We trick-or-treated with our friends the Dragon (Owen), Thomas the Tank Engine (Daniel), Stephanie from Lazy Town (Elliana), an Elephant (the cutest Luccas...who is behind Dylan in the above pic) and Lightning McQueen (Matthew).

The boys seemed to understand the concept of politely asking for candy very well. However, Sawyer changed his MO after a few cordial attempts and took to opening unsuspecting doors himself while yelling "trickortreatthankyou" and assessing candy before Old Money Restonites knew what the hell was going on.

I know there is a BOLO out now for a pudgy Robin-lookalike stealing big Baby Ruths.

We hope everyone had a fun safe night and all the boys & girls gave their candy to their parents for proper 1-a-day dispersal. Or, in my case, eating it directly from their bags on the couch while watching "NCIS."

Uncle SpongeBob JackAss

Uncle Brendan is enjoying himself immensely at Dive School for the Explosive Ordinance Disposal team (aka Bomb Squad). I have envisioned Brendan studying bomb blueprints like McGyver and familiarizing himself with the red and blue wires and which one to cut while the timer ticks down and he internally battles with himself saying, "Red.....no, blue. BLUE!" Guess what? He is not doing that.

Brendan is swimming in the ocean in black waterproof lycra playing with toys as evidenced by the picture above. Apparently he carries Mr. SpongeBob SquarePants on every dive with him and his Chief found out. His Chief reiterated the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy as in "we're not asking if you're a dumbass that totes around a doll in his underpants, so please don't tell us".

Of course the boys now think that Uncle Brendan is the COOLEST because he personally knows Mr. Pants and visits him on the bottom of the ocean. Now we have to break the news to them about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and why their 27 year old uncle has a dolly.

It's A Girl!

We were thrilled to find out last week that #3 is a girl! The fear of potential suitors, the silent treatment and an overabundant sense of drama has settled upon our home (those are really Pat's fears). I am mostly scared of becoming Skanky Bitch 2.0 and hearing "I hate you and your seasonal sweaters!" in my later years. My payback arrives February 2009.

Marty Party Month

The Marty family loves to cram their entire family's birthdays into a small window. We are not complaining because it always means a warm meal and cake for us! We recently celebrated Luccas' 1st birthday as well as Daniel's 2nd and Fran's 50th. How thrilling!

The birthday boy, and our godson, Daniel! Fran & Carla had a fire truck and an ambulance show up for entertainment!

Seesaw enjoys driving the firetruck.

The fireman asked if Sawyer wanted to wrestle. Mistake. Sawyer, by this time, was fueled up by 2 lbs of Mexican dip and Now & Laters candy.

Dylan, Matthew & Daniel patiently waiting for their turn to wail on the pinata.

Daniel winds it up for some candy!

The Big Boys Club - holla!
Poor Luccas Poocas. He is surely wondering, "why is this stoned man holding me? Who entrusted my care to him?"

Elliana is a shrewd businesswoman. She arranged all of her pinata candy (BY BRAND) and started enticing the boys to come over and barter with her. Of course, Dylan was first as he loves two things - candy & Elliana (probably in that order).And........party's over.

Thank you to Jose & Jessica and Carla & Fran for some wonderful parties (and food!).

*Note: there are no pictures of Mama as no one needs to see her sweaty, round and eating food like a hyena. Hey, #3 requires a lot of carbohydrates.

Congratulations Becky & Steve!

We had a great time last night at Becky & Steve's beautiful wedding! Not even the rain could stop us from having a good time! I enjoyed my first sober reception in a long time. It was a different experience. I realized that we get pretty tanked and run our mouths A LOT. It was surreal to watch Jessie and Maureen do tequila shots with our high school art teacher. We also have another wedding to plan now - congrats to Molly & Tim on their engagement!

The Team

Pat & I snazz it up...my dress was flowy and hid my gut well

What are you supposed to do when your pregnant wife is talking to her ex-boyfriend? Josh drinks with the Team's blessing.
Jess, Brie & Tara. We've known each other since we were 5. We don't get along well.

One of the most awkward moments of the evening....

Preggo eggos! Brie & Julie

Brie & post-whiskey shot Jessica

Labor Day Weekend

What a busy weekend! We attended Matthew's 4th birthday party on Saturday and had a great time feasting on food for about 5 hours. Mama overdid it with the pork and pinata candy and felt the baby gain 7 lbs immediately. We got to see fun friends like Eva Broksas and Elliana, Luccas, Daniel and, of course, Mr. Birthday Boy - Ma-choo!

Our favorite 11 month old, Luccas Poocas ----->

The prey is down! Attacking the pinata!The big preschoolers: Dylan, Matthew & Elliana

We also had a fun BBQ with Bob & Sheila Gilmore on Sunday who were kind enough to cook for us and entertain our children while Mama ate a bag of Fritos. They even laughed and did not judge when Sawyer fell off a step and said, "oh dammit!" (no joke). Uncle Jim & Aunt Gina came over for breakfast today and we ate like champs! Again, Mama is sure the baby will be born weighing 12 lbs.

And in the BIGGEST news - we managed to get Mr. Sawyer a haircut....Mama & Dada had to fork over mucho dinero for hippopatamus tranquilizers for that to happen. He is not the most friendly child to barbers. Thankfully, it was accomplished and he looks very handsome (and old!).