The Brothers Head Case

These two - man, I love them so much. They are so very similar and so entirely different at the same time. I cherish their unending curiosity (Dylan) and explosive displays of affection (Sawyer).

Also, sometimes....I want to duct tape them to chairs and wait for the screaming to end.

The boys were both diagnosed this year with some hearing loss. Huh. And all that time I was screaming, "PLEASE STOP DOING THAT!"and they didn't....well, maybe there was a real reason, but I doubt it.

Anyway, we finally managed to go see the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor and all of his wonderful toys that look like this-

It looks like an eff'g flame thrower complete with scissors & sight scope. You can only imagine how THAT went over. He examined Sawyer....pulled back....examined him again....one more time...by now, I'm worried. He says, "you may want to see this....it's, well....it's blue." Shit. I look and sure enough - something blue. Guess what it is, guys?

IT'S A DAMN CRAYON TIP IN HIS EAR! I was expecting fuzz, surely dog hair but a CRAYON TIP? I got some stares. The doctor was prepared to remove it but Sawyer protested so the doctor backed down. I'm sorry - no. GET IT OUT. My offering of a oxygen-depriving headlock with promises of a still child got me MORE stares and a curt "that will not be necessary." Pansies.

Then he looks at Dylan and down Dylan's throat and says "whoa....those are the biggest tonsils I've ever seen on a 5 year old." Wow, OK. I guess I was wrong when I thought it was normal for a 5 year old to snore like a fat, drunk frat boy after a bender. Apparently it is NOT normal and I'm a horrible mother for not knowing this AND punishing my children by shoving crayons in their ears. Also - suggesting a headlock. This was not my day.

After a wonderful $120 specialist co-pay (trust me, I said, "A hundred and twenty WHAT?"), we bolted out of there with Sawyer blabbering about how excited he was for his "ear crayon" to fall out of his head. Annnnnd more stares. Sigh.