A Big Day!

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Well....that was special

We took Dylan to his kindergarten orientation today at St. Joseph's. He was SO excited to go and talked of nothing else all weekend!

Imagine our surprise then when he lost his shit and threw a humongous temper tantrum....the likes of which I have not seen since we told him that he is expected to wipe his own ass....forever.

The above is mildly reminiscent of what Pat & I dealt with...in public...in front of religious education providers, other kindergarten families and the side-eyed glances of my dead grandparents who were surely mortified as well.

This Just In!....

We're sorta trashy.

TGIF

Meemaw is in town which means two things - 1) lots of hugs and 2) dinners that look like this:

"I just made something light!"......not that we are complaining.

Logan Grace continues to mesmerize and enchant us all with her deep belly laugh, her gorgeous blond curls and oh yes - her bitchface. See Exhibit A - What the hell is this face?! Note the finely chipped tooth Lo inflicted upon herself while trying to participate in Older Brother Play. Please be aware this face is made when she is told NO. "No, Logan. Do not pull on the dog's tail. No, Logan. Do not try to drink my beer. NO LOGAN! YOU ARE NOT ONLY EATING GARLIC BREAD FOR DINNER!" Girl is gonna need Botox & veneers by the time she is 10. Start saving, Bucket!
Moving onward, my sons are wild animals. No one will argue with that statement. However, they are also so smart and have their moments are innocent adorableness like this - Ohhhhhh, look at the precious brothers reading together. How smart. How very Hooked on Phonics. How.....wait, is that the Victoria's Secret sale catalog? It is. Pat high five'd them both and was most proud when Dylan said, "can I sleep with this, Mama?"

The Brothers Head Case

These two - man, I love them so much. They are so very similar and so entirely different at the same time. I cherish their unending curiosity (Dylan) and explosive displays of affection (Sawyer).

Also, sometimes....I want to duct tape them to chairs and wait for the screaming to end.

The boys were both diagnosed this year with some hearing loss. Huh. And all that time I was screaming, "PLEASE STOP DOING THAT!"and they didn't....well, maybe there was a real reason, but I doubt it.

Anyway, we finally managed to go see the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor and all of his wonderful toys that look like this-

It looks like an eff'g flame thrower complete with scissors & sight scope. You can only imagine how THAT went over. He examined Sawyer....pulled back....examined him again....one more time...by now, I'm worried. He says, "you may want to see this....it's, well....it's blue." Shit. I look and sure enough - something blue. Guess what it is, guys?

IT'S A DAMN CRAYON TIP IN HIS EAR! I was expecting fuzz, surely dog hair but a CRAYON TIP? I got some stares. The doctor was prepared to remove it but Sawyer protested so the doctor backed down. I'm sorry - no. GET IT OUT. My offering of a oxygen-depriving headlock with promises of a still child got me MORE stares and a curt "that will not be necessary." Pansies.

Then he looks at Dylan and down Dylan's throat and says "whoa....those are the biggest tonsils I've ever seen on a 5 year old." Wow, OK. I guess I was wrong when I thought it was normal for a 5 year old to snore like a fat, drunk frat boy after a bender. Apparently it is NOT normal and I'm a horrible mother for not knowing this AND punishing my children by shoving crayons in their ears. Also - suggesting a headlock. This was not my day.

After a wonderful $120 specialist co-pay (trust me, I said, "A hundred and twenty WHAT?"), we bolted out of there with Sawyer blabbering about how excited he was for his "ear crayon" to fall out of his head. Annnnnd more stares. Sigh.